i reallllllllly want this ring. buy it for me and i’d love you, now and forever.

Love and death are two uninvited guests. Nobody
knows when they come, but both do the same work.
One takes the heart, and the other takes its beat.

just tell me that you think i’m prettier than her and that i mean more to you. that’s all i need.

Dear Google and Facebook,
I’m invited to the verb party… right?
Sincerely, Photoshop.

And ultimately, he’s going to find out. How you chew, how you sip, how you dance, how you smell at every point in the day. The fact that most of your friends are shallow. That you hate sitting in science class, the middle seat. How you love chocolate, how you can be hyper at times, how certain games and shows make you really happy. How cranky you get when you PMS or when you’re tired, how you think you look bad in all your photos on facebook. He’s going to know everything about you. And you know what? He’s still going to love you.

Sorry is like a band-aid. Just because you use it, doesn’t mean it’s gonna heal the wound.

Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.

i’m scared of the future. i’m scared of growing up &failing at my life. i’m scared of being old &alone. i’m scared i’m never going to find someone who actually loves me.

chances are like lightning, they never hit the earth at the same spot twice. so when a chance comes your way, grab it cause it may never come again.

It’s funny when you finally get over someone. You start seeing them in a whole new perspective. It’s like you’re looking at them through the eyes of your best friend, and you realize he’s nothing special. He’s just another ordinary boy.

well fuck prom…

and everyone and everything that has to do with it

….anddddd that’s all i have to say about that.

i really really really miss my dad.

it’s harder. i can talk about it without even whimpering and i feel so cold, but my heart literally hurts and all i want is for him to be here to hug me. like you really have no idea. no one really has any idea at all. this is one hurt that i can’t even describe and it will never go away and he’ll never come back and i need him. i’m still just a kid.

and i realized while trying on dresses today with my absolutely gorgeous best friend that being a size 0 means absolutely nothing but i can’t even stop losing weight. i’m not even doing it on purpose.

i also realized that i am not happy with myself at all.

i mean,  i hate my body.
i hate my stomach.
i hate all my stretch marks.
i hate my bruises cause i get them if you just touch me.
i hate my hair and how it does what it wants no matter what.
i hate that my make-up looks like pure shit at the end of the day and no one even bothers to tell me.
i hate my bottom teeth.
i hate how pale and sensitive my skin is.
i hate my hair color.
i hate that i can only sing in a certain range and can’t go high at all.
i hate how big my nose is.
i hate my toenails.
i hate my back.
i hate my clothes and how i don’t even fit into them.
i hate how my hair gets tatty stringy and greasy in a matter of hours.
i hate how my face stays broken out looking and so uneven on one side.
i hate that i have two different ears.
i hate that my eyes never look the same.
i hate that i always use too much nail polish and get it everywhere.
i hate my eyebrows and how they grow overnight.
i hate my peach fuzz blonde mustache on my face.
i hate that my wrists are too small to wear normal sized bracelets.
i hate how hairy my arms are, and i am in general.
i hate how jealous i am and how easily i let things get to me.
i hate that i bore everyone with my problems when they have problems of their own.
i hate how easily i open up to everyone.
i hate how people are so fake.
i hate high school period.
i hate that my boobs shrunk and there’s not a bra that’s really my perfect size.
i hate that i have no butt whatsoever.
i hate that i can never put together outfits and look super cute.
i hate that my hair won’t curl, or do anything but lay flat to my head, for that matter.
i hate how teeny tiny small my lips are.
people think being skinny is so fun and its not. you’re just bony and then what meat you do have is all flabby. and then you can’t be fat cause then people are all on your to be skinny, then when you’re skinny they’re all on your for not eating when you clearly do. it’s like no matter what i do look like or say i can never win, so why even try.
there’s just about nothing about myself that i wouldn’t change. my eyes, maybe. and that’s about all. everything else i would love to change or rearrange or get rid of. i seriously can’t find beauty in myself by the end of the day and i can’t stand to look at myself and that’s just sad. it’s like i’m stuck in a body that i don’t even want but i have to make due. i guess you’re never really satisfied with yourself though, so whatever. what can ya do?

anyway, i’m so sleepy and i have homework. i took me a cat nap though a little earlier by accident. butttttt i just needed to vent a little i guess. and here’s about the only place that i could openly vent without getting fed some bullshit about how wonderful i am when i know they’re just saying it out of pity, or get shrunk and almost put into therapy or something, or would care i guess. i mean, clearly you can’t care since you’re like a website, but it’s better to bother an empty box with my problems and insecurities than someone who doesn’t care, want to hear it, or know what to say, i guess. i need to quit being annoying and talking so much. i never ever shut up. i ruin everything and over think and over analyze and worry about everything until i make it non enjoyable. i dunno, i’m a screw up some days. and some days other people are too. dicks.

this world is so full of cold hearted fake immature people who just don’t care and find humor in other people’s pain and insecurities and it’s sickening. it blesses my soul to find someone who truly does. one of those people that you just know really wants you to be happy. that’s nice. there should be more of those people around.

i smell good. i need to make myself eat more but i feel like i have heartburn and i’ve been kinda sick to my stomach and shaky all day. i really hate school more every single day that i enter the building and i become increasingly annoyed with the people and teachers in it as well. it’s just terrible. the same old thing every single day. having to dread each class that you don’t understand and fail because you really have no other choice. i can’t understand chemistry and pre calculus even if i try. and the fact that everyone has just decided to stop talking to me and that they don’t need me in their lives, well - that’s cool too. i don’t need you either. makes me easier to lose all of you so whatever. and yes, it’s bound to happen. i’ve come to the conclusion that eventually you will lose everyone. like everyone you love and think will never leave you will and then new come and i’ll get too attached to them and then they’ll leave too and it’s a viscous cycle and it’s sad, but it’s a part of life so what can you do. blah. just one of those mondays.

oh, and did i mention that i miss my dad?

she’s so naturally pretty and so is that place. salty.

I took one big step and I looked away and then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say. I’m always too late, you never got your story straight. I’m always up late, I think I’m everything you hate.

he’s blind. and he is absolutely beautiful to me.

Despite my empty mouth the words are in my mind.
Please wear the face, the one where you smile,
Because you lighten up my heart when I start to cry.

And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love

You shower me with words made of knives

Sometimes not even the truth can change your mind when someone can mean so much to you.

No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.

would you wait if i wrote you a perfect song tonight?
to make your heart stand still & make your chest grow tight
but i’ll never write a perfect line
& i don’t know why i even waste my time & try
& for the longest time, i couldn’t love her to save my life

He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.

uhm, i love you.

life isn’t all about love, or friends, or family.
life is about having the will in your heart to
accept everyone that god has brought to you.

love me without fear, trust me without wondering.
love me without restrictions, want me without
demand, accept me how i am.

spend life with you makes you happy.
not who you have to impress.

sometimes you just need to talk to that one person
who will let you talk and ramble, listen to you complain
and look like an idiot. but still love you the same.

i have come to realize that hes just a guy, a special
one maybe, but hes not mine. i don’t need to do things
to make him love me. if he wanted to, he simply would.

The worst thing you could do for
love is deny it. So when you find that
special someone, don’t let anyone or
anything get in your way.

if a girl can put up with you through your worst days,
and still stick with you and all your crap, then it’s kind
of obvious that you shouldn’t let her go.

the thing about dating a friend is that you’ve got history.
you’ve got stories, and laughs that you can talk about.
it’s much easier, and better, then starting from scratch.

cause in the end you’re just a typical guy
dragging a girl along cause you’re
not really sure what you want.

when you’re still smiling about something
that happened six months ago,
you know there’s got to be more

ben and jerry’s peanut brittle ice cream.

little bit of heaven, yes?

so katy perry does acoustics and plays guitar? definitely like her even more now.

i didn’t go to school today. overslept and just really wasn’t feeling it. i’ll probably regret it, but i’ll live.

no one deserves to be treated that way. So even if you love him with your entire heart, with every fiber of your being, with so much passion that it hurts to think about it, you need to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.

That’s because you’re stubborn and don’t think.  If you paused your feeling for a few moments and thought, you might have a chance against your heart.

It’s hard to let go of people that mean so much to you. Even harder to watch them walk away completely fine.

“You really love him, don’t you?” A simple question. Not a name was mentioned. But suddenly, someone came into your mind as you read it.

Maybe that’s just growing up. When you’re young, you tell yourself things like, “Well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be,” as if that actually meant something just because it sounds like it does. I think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. But people are rare, unique things and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. Just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.

it’s a horrible feeling when the guy you want to talk to about your problem is your problem.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

here’s to you. here’s to you for always being the best friend, for always being there when he needed you, for always listening to him talk about her, for being the one he hangs out with when she can’t, for listening to him complain about how she just doesn’t notice him, for going to all his games and cheering him on, for being there when things didn’t go his way and all he needed was a hug, for being there at 1 in the morning when things were falling apart and it was your phone he called. here’s to you, beautiful.. here’s to you.

you deserve someone who knows all your flaws and mistakes and still loves you just the same.

let’s be honest. sometimes there is nothing harder in life than being happy for someone else