"the colored kind of fruity pebbles"
i go in the kitchen to find myself some food and as soon as i open the cabinet my parents pull up with giovannis pizza and i had just looked at a picture of some and thought how it looked good, and i had said earlier that i wanted some combo sticks from there. it was pretty trippy that they read my mind and came just in time. it was real good, too. ;)
You can always tell how much you care by their ability to hurt you.
I’m sorry for…
Being annoying because I want to talk to you.
Being needy because I miss you.
Being emotional because I care about you.
Being insecure because I’m afraid to lose you.
You wonder why I’m insecure?
Because there are girls out there who look gorgeous without even trying. When they wake up they look like angels. when I wake up, I look like I just got out of a war. Those photogenic girls who look good in every photo. When someone takes a photo of me, my face looks half retarded. They don’t even need to dress nicely an they’ll still look good. How they can capture your attention just by walking past. I want to be able to do that.
what i don’t understand is how you can read it all, know how i feel, and it not have any effect on you at all.
There are no shortcuts in life or in love
This pain must be felt. The alternative is much worse
It’s what makes us special, what makes us beautiful
What … what makes us worthy; the pain of how we love
But that pain is accompanied by something else, isn’t it?
Hope. With your pain there is hope
And that is where you are;
Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer
So, you’re human, you’re alive
And that is all we have
one of my life goals is to find one of those.
and to kiss in the rain, and hold hands and walk in the snow, and kiss at the top of a ferris wheel, and take pictures in some kind of a big field (yanno, like of wheat or something real tall like that)
It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting it’s sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone
Life is all about risks & it requires you to jump.
Don’t be a person who has to look back & wonder what they would have,
or could have had.
No one waits forever.
you know, this may sound weird, but i’m not actually up for a full fledged commitment to someone. i mean sure, that’d be wonderful, but i’d be satisfied with just one of those things. you know, the things where you don’t have to label it or call it anything or be together every waking minute of every day or call each other every night or get each other stuff for valentine’s day or even be publicaly affectionate. i could settle for just somene that makes me feel special and kisses me when no one’s looking and thinks about me more than most any other girl and sends me good morning and good night and texts that make me smile and wants to cuddle me and hold my hand and just generally make me feel important and happy when we ARE together. but i mean, i wouldn’t want them to be ashamed of me or anything, i just wouldn’t care to complicate it with labels. but i guess that’s like getting the milk without the cow or having your cake and eating it to, and for whatever reason people think that’s so terribly wrong. which i suppose in some cases it it? but it’s not like i wouldn’t expect them to only have that with me. like they could hang out with other people, sure - but not like cuddle anyone else, or send them good morning, or be more important to them to me. like a relationship without saying it i guess. it’s kind of stupid, but whatever. and then yanno, maybe in the long run we’d end up realizing that we really do love each other and want to make something last of it and have some fairytale romance and live happily ever after, but yanno that’s just a possibility. hahaha.
We have voices and stories and plans and dreams and ideas
We have hope. We will wake up tomorrow to a day
That has never been known.
We are living a life that has never been lived
We are here for a reason
We exist to love and be loved
Life comes back
Things do change
Storms do pass
If a girl understands your crap and puts up with your mistakes, it’s obvious she’s a keeper.
But it’s also obvious you don’t deserve her.
i don’t want to be your second choice…
so these philly swirl icee things with candy spoons are the coooooolest.
although we adore men individually,
we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid
- Mary Poppins
oh my gosh. yes.
Don’t let your ears witness what your eyes didn’t see, don’t let your mouth speak what your hearts doesn’t feel.
I truly respect the people who stay strong even when they have every right to break down
She used to cut herself, so she got a tattoo there that says think again. :)
For once, I wish something between us would just
happen, good or bad. I wish you had something
to tell me; if I should keep holding on or just let go.
And she loves regardless of everything that has stained her life.
She loves with everything she has left, and that is beautiful.
you are defined by the way in which you
treat the people you love. and, the people you hate.
don’t push your relationship with a person
too hard. if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.
circle the drain.
i love that song.
so i need to be studying chemistry and junk, buttttt yanno - i have it instilled in my head that i absolutely can not do it, and honestly i really don’t think that i can. it’s so tough. killing me to have a c though. that is notttt cool.
but anyways, so the photo post thingy majig button on here wouldn’t work the first few times i tried it, but now it will. so i thought about making all my post actualy photo ones instead of text ones with pictures added, but then i couldn’t do my quotes in between like i like. and it doesn’t really matter anyways because this is pretty much for me considering there’s not many who look at it? so yeah. lol.
I’m not like anyone you’ve ever known, and maybe that scares you a little bit because here you are with a girl that actually cares for you and for once in your life, you don’t know how to deal with that
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you’ll know exactly what to do.
It’s crazy how he can’t bear to see me by another guys side, but he doesn’t want me right by his, either.
I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little, if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that’s the day she has a date with destiny. And it’s best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.
have a sweatshirt just like this one. :)
when my internet randomly stops working - i always take it as a sign that i need to go do my homework…..
because usually that is the case.
my god, that is one BEAUTIFUL smile.
Get off the computer. Go fall in love or something.
The best relationship is when ;
you both know you’re in love with each other, yet you remain friends.
And your feelings grow stronger.
He’s the kind of boy i’d love to get stuck with on the top of the Ferris Wheel.
i bergot to go find more quotes. :O
conceited people. don’t flatter yourself, really. lol.
i always lose socks. like seriously, wtheck?
too bad i’m not sleepy. i’ve always wanted a hammock.
When you’re around someone so much, for so long, they become a part of you, and when they change or go away, you don’t know who you are without them.
with every fiber of my being…….. <3
so if you say you’re a quote site, it might help to actually put some quotes on there? js.
You walk down your packed high school hallways every day. You pass hundreds of people you have never talked to, ex best friends & boyfriends. You pass the people that hate you & most importantly love you to death. If you could just freeze everyone & finally slow down time to look around. Do you finally notice the kids that have never had an equal chance? What about the beautiful popular girls that get all the boys, are they truly happy or is it all an act? And then look at yourself. Are you happy with who you are becoming or has high school turned you into someone you promised you would never be? Take a good look at your reflection before you judge anyone else; be the person you want to do. Fuck what everyone else tells you, just be who you are.
immature, easily persuaded, think your so fucking cool but you’re really not?
Stop trying to understand how she feels. Chances are you’ll never understand how much she truly loves you. How everything she does is for you. How every night she lies in bed thinking of only you. Because, you’ll never understand, because you honestly don’t care.
It’s the worst feeling, telling someone “I love you more” and knowing that it’s probably true.
I love those kind of nights that turn out unexpectedly good, great, and sometimes just all out amazing just because you didn’t really expect anything to happen at all. If only we could live just like that — with no expectations in mind. It’s possible we’d be much happier, with more memorable moments that would last us a lifetime
Few people know so clearly what they want. Most people can’t even think what to hope for when they throw a penny in a fountain
so do you want to know why it bothers me so bad? really? maybe because even if it isn’t anything major, i still want to be worth it to you to give it up. call it stupid if you want but if you didn’t like me doing something that was harming to myself, i care for you enough to stop. i’m trying to help you, i guess you don’t get that. so i don’t care if other people do - that’s other people. i don’t care about them like i care about you. you’re better than that and you don’t need it and it sure as hell doesn’t make you look cool. seriously, think about it - you say you wouldn’t do anything else but if you could be persuaded so easily to do that, who’s to say you wouldn’t do something else? and then what if you liked it? then i wouldn’t want anything to do with you anymore, and i wouldn’t be worth it for you to stop. you’d rather have it than me. you can say i’m overthinking or whatever you want, but i know you - if you’re not willing to stand up for a SONG you like and you go along with what someone thinks about a song and won’t say you like it because you feel stupid (yes, i remember that. you probably don’t. just add to my “stalker” status since apparently i freak you out and scare you because you know i watch you while you sleep and have video cameras in you shower and shit. yeah, sue me for caring enough to actually pay attention and remember things?) anyways, if you can’t go against someone and say you like a song, you’d go along with whatever. don’t ruin yourself. it’s not worth it. but i am. i promise. i care about you more than anyone ever will. i put up with you and whether you want to admit it or not, that’s so hard to do. you know it. you know i never really get mad at you. well, i never show it. you know why? because then you get mad, and you turn it around and make it my fault and somehow i actually believe that it is and try to make things right because i fear that if i don’t, you won’t either. like if i don’t keep the conversation going, you won’t either. but it kills me and you don’t care. like right now, or any time really, you go with whoever, do whatever, and i bet you never once stop to wonder what i’m doing or if i’m feeling okay maybe? but the whole time i’m anywhere my hand is around my phone just waiting for you to text me because i would rather talk to you than ANYONE else that i could ever possibly be with. no matter where i am or who i’m with i’m always wondering about you. i think it’s impossible for you to care that much about someone. i don’t think that you really actually know what it is to truly have feelings for someone. like really want everything for them, want to get them things just because it will make them happy. want to tell them you love them just so they’ll smile. be with them all the time because even though you really can’t stand them sometimes and they get on your last nerve and you argue constantly, you love every minute of it cause you know you’re going to be fine in a few minutes. you just love being with them cause they’re fun. and they used to make you feel so important. i think you need to grow up a little bit. you need to learn to take some blame. you need to learn to stand up for what you believe and you need to learn to say how you feel. you need to tell people before it’s too late. think about other people’s feelings sometimes and not just whats best for you or what would be fun for you at the moment. seriously, people say if i just didn’t talk to you for just a little while you would miss me. i don’t see it. i know how you think. you’re so hard headed. if i didn’t talk to you, you would purposely not talk to me just to prove your point, even if you wanted to. see, you don’t have to worry. you have NO idea what it feels like to wonder because i assure you and assure you and assure you how i feel about you and how much that i love you and i’m always telling you where i’m at, what i’m doing, who i’m with, you KNOW that no one ever ever could take your place and you know that i have no feelings for anyone else and you use that to your advantage. you take advantage of it. and you know it. you’ve admitted it before. you can get mad at me and say what you want because you know i’ll get over it. i don’t have that security. you can’t say i love you more to me because you know it’s not true, not because you don’t play that game. you play it with another person but if i told you, you’d think i was even more of a stalker. you yourself said you checked all someone’s stuff. see, when you care, reallllly care, reallllly like someone, you do that. so you can say that you like me, but i don’t think that you really even know what it means to like someone. well, i just completely contradicted myself there. i guess you do know. i think you really liked that one person (i just realized that i have been typing all this and i just put in names, soo i need to go eliminate those. haha). and maybe you really liked another one, but i don’t really know considering that it doesn’t bother you that she’s uhm, moving on with her life. and i think that if you hung out with that first mentioned one any at all you would fall for her again, which is why i was scared. and i think that you have feelings for cousin as well. i really think that you do. you’re so jealous and the way you act with her is the way you acted with me in the beginning. i just think that you’re scared and you want to like someone who’s safe because you are exactly alike and sure that nothing is expected of you there. you said yourself that you like someone until they like you and then you find something wrong with them and get tired of them, that’s where you’re at with me. either quit lying to me and saying feelings are still there to keep me hanging on, or flat out tell me exactly how you feel and grow a pair and make something of it. not even a relationship. just quit acting like a dick to me. show me you like me. you used to, why can’t you anymore? cause you don’t or cause you’re scared and don’t want to? i can’t figure you out. i can’t figure out what i am to you or what i mean to you. i can’t figure out what that you say is sincere or what isn’t really. i’m just tired of letting everything you say and do hurt me and i’m tired of hearing everyone’s opinions when they don’t even know the half of it. i don’t even think you know the half of it. if you actually read some of these things and knew what that did to me. knew how it made me feel. knew how sick i got or just could have my thoughts for like a DAY, i swear. and i tell you stuff and you ignore it. i tell you how i feel. i tell you i miss you. i tell you EVERYTHING. and you ignore it. try really hard to put yourself in my shoes. how would you feel if you did that and i ignored it and said NOTHING. if you really like me like you say, how would you feel if you found out i liked one of your best friends? like, think about things from my perspective first. i keep repeating myself. gosh. and think about best friends. that alone, think about it - best friends don’t laugh when the other one is crying because of something. because they feel upset. they try to help. they offer sympathy or a hug, not ignore you. like best friends make the other one feel happy and beautiful and let them know how wonderful they are. you laugh. you never get my hints. you never offer compliments no matter how much i cut myself down. think about how you would feel if that were you. if i never told you anything good about you and agreed when you pointed out all the bad. girls are more sensitive. we take those things to heart. we think about them for days, weeks, months after. we have feelings, and mine are even more sensitive than most. maybe you don’t compliment me because you don’t want to build me up. mom says it’s because you don’t want to lead me on and make me think that you like me. yet you tell me you do. she says that when i get mad at you, i have no right to because you’re just being a friend to me, which is all that you are and i need to quit expecting more. my mom is usually right. “/ but, but osdfnb usbjnhr. no one understands. like, you have me pegged. everything about me. you are so cute and you make me so happy sometimes and you don’t even realize it. you just smile or make a face or a weird voice or sing or dance and it just brightens my day. you just hold my hand every once in a blue moon and it just keeps me hanging on because it’s like, i can’t forget how you used to tell me how much i meant to you and its like, in my mind if you felt like that at one time - and you’re around me all the time i don’t see how those feelings can go away. i know that they can, but still - i just don’t get it because for me they don’t. like, when i like someone, i like them with all that i am and i don’t just move on to someone else so easily. i feel pathetic and i said i would never write stuff on here. (maybe someone will think it’s just a really long quote) it’s cool. no one will read it anyways. too long. just like my messages to you which i know you don’t actually read. but see, if that were me i would read every word because i want to know everything that i can about you. i love it all. your flaws just everything. it’s easy for people to say to give up on the idea of anything more than this and its easy for them to say not to talk to you so much and stuff but they don’t feel like this. they don’t look at you like i do. they don’t want you to know everything about them cause maybe one little thing will make you realize that you really think i’m cute and love me and would be lost without me. i just wonder what it’d be like for you if you lost me. like completely. the thought of losing you scared me. you can see. i’ve talked to you every single day since then. i have to. it’s like, part of my routine. like breathing. my day would feel so wrong and incomplete if i didn’t talk to you. but i feel like to you it’s just an annoyance to have to put up with me everyday. i feel like you want to talk to me when you have nothing better to do but even then its just out of habit and you feel like you have to because your mom loves me and i’ve always been there for you. i feel like that because you make it seem miserable with your short as possible replies. its like you’re begging me to quit talking but i just keep going. and it doesn’t help that when i tell you you make me feel this way and i tell you i feel like you don’t care and everything else, you don’t reply. and it’s even more pathetic that i still don’t get the point. yes, you always message me in the morning to start a conversation for the day but it’s like, you just want to talk to me to say you’ve talked to me that day. i don’t know. i’m just not willing to mess it up. i swear, no one can tell me anything. i’m just as hard headed as you are and you are my best friend. like, it would be different if you weren’t. then so what if you got mad or something. but you are my best friend and my every thought and i tell you everything and go to you with everything even if you don’t care and you’re who i have fun with and hang out with and you’re my routine and my habit as well. lunch, school, just everything would be so empty without you, for me. but you have a billion other people. i feel like you wouldn’t miss me at all. you’d just replace me. i’m no different to you than anyone else but how can i give up on it when we just give each other these looks when we’re together and we just read each other and can put up with each other and can argue and fight and bite each other ad laugh and have to tell each other something two seconds later. and i mean, just think about it. look at what we have. we have so much in each other. you know that i know you and understand you and i’m not going to judge you and you know that i care for you and i always want whats best for you and deep down i know that you love me and i can tell you anything and i’m so comfortable with you and you make me laugh and you make me mad and push me but it’s like, i love and hate it that you can fix it with three words. and i love your family and i can read you on the simplest things and idk. i just feel like i need you. and i love your scars. you’re so brave to me because of that. i just don’t think anyone else looks at it like i do. the situation i mean. i mean, besides the obvious people. i just admire you and you never complain and you’re just so selfish and you’re such a drama queen half of the time and such a boy the rest of it and you’re just weird but you’re not like the rest. i never have to worry about you like you would have to with any other guy. everyone says i always just give you too much credit because i like you and stuff but really, i think you’re special and i think you have a good heart even if you could kill babies and i swear i could kill YOU for that, but that’s another story. you’re cold, you’re pretty harsh sometimes and you just shut all your feelings down. but one day you will spill your guts. and one day you will grow up and allow yourself to love someone. i know you don’t think i’m “the one” and you don’t want to marry me and crap like you used to and i also know that we’re 16 and really maybe haven’t even met “the one” yet. and i know everyone tells me that’s the craziest though ever and it will never happen. and i know that in reality we’ll probably go separate ways and never even talk anymore. but i try not to think of that, because whether you do or not, i will always always remember you and i always want to know you. and it’s like, i have no idea what the future holds and i have no freaking idea how i got into all this crap or if i’m even going to post it. lolol. but uhm, yeah - i totally lost the point there. shoot. all that was to make you understand why you mean so much to me and why things bother me so much i guess? whatever. you’ll never read this. so it’s safe. you’re also the only one i gave it to. and no one else really knows who i’m talking about. yanno, unless someone from school finds this. then they’re going to think i’m psycho. oh well, i’m sure plenty of people already do. really this should be an xanga post but i’m just going to leave it. hahahha. i should really write novels for a living. oh, and i also hate having to wonder if i can trust you. like when you hang out with other people, wondering if you’re talking about me or making fun of me or telling stuff i’ve said. insecurities, hopefully i’ll find someone, somewhere to love them someday. haha. like would you even care if my bracelet completely broke? is it bad that i could go on for days and days more. gosh, the simplest little nothings mean so much to me. i am so sentimental. but, i’m not hard to make very happy because of that. i’m simple. take me to swing and look at the stars and remember my favorites and you’ve got my heart. lol. gosh, i really can’t imagine how my life would be right now if things would have been worse that day. that feeling i got was so scary. when i saw you, i saw you TOTALLY differently. ALL that i wanted to do was kiss your forehead because you looked so beautiful to me. greasy hair, tubes and all. and so helpless. i think that’s when things started to change for me. that’s when i really figured out what you meant to me and i know you get tired of hearing about it, but i don’t think you realize how blessed that you really are. i don’t think you really realize how much that i love you, even if i tell you constantly. i look at you like you’re the most wonderful, the most beautiful, the cutest dimples, prettiest smile hair, style - everything. you look at me and see nothing special. yeah you can sing, so and so is better. yeah you have pretty eyes, so and so’s are prettier. yeah i like your make up. so and so does it better. it looks like hers. yeah you’re losing weight, you need to eat and gain it back. like, i dunno. i feel like i suck. being this age sucks. high school sucks. you suck sometimes. growing up sucks. being sick sucks. being cold sucks. and, and, and (i really need to post this so i quit thinking of things to add to it) i don’t understand how one day you’re all “you’re just hurting yourself, you’re the one who’s not going to have kids” and two days later you’re talking about wanting to be with someone else? and and and and i don’t understand how you wanna cuddle and hold hands and stuff one day, and you love me so much. no actually, one minute - then the next you flip out if i touch your arm? you’re not affectionate i get it, but when you like someone (like you say and occasionally act like you do) you wanna love on them and show them? and yanno, ya do sometimes. but it’s at your convenience and when yanno, no one can ever find out? ashamed much? or i dunno, i don’t get you. it’s like you don’t believe in love. one day you will. even if you don’t fall in love with me, and i go on and fall in love with someone else, i want you to find it so you can understand. and be happy. i really do. i really wanna cuddle you though. you’re like a big teddy bear and i still remember more than any other time when we were all snuggled up on your couch and some crap about alligators or something was on, but we just layed there and you just pulled me so close its like, i could feel your heart beat and i felt like you cared so much and just didn’t want to let me go and idk, it was just an amazing feeling. your heartbeat. and everytime i think about it i think about you telling me how you saw on tv something about people’s hearts beating in sync and it meaning they were soul mates. and you get so excited at little things like that and scream like a little girl and it’s just so cute dude. you don’t even understand. i would give ANYTHING for you to see yourself through my eyes. yanno, i could have said to see myself through your eyes, to see how you look at me, but no - i want you to see what amazingness i do everytime i look at you even if i’m mad as hell and swearing that i hate your guts. khsfguszhuehsgugw. clinched fists. gritted teeth. i could just hug you all day. just hold your hand and pet you and see how pretty you look when you sleep and bite you. bite your lips and give you eskimo kisses. nothing else. i would be more than happy to just lay there with you watching movies all day just knowing that you’re there. and you could be somewhere else, but you’re not. you’re just laying there with me. sdkniuwaehg. i really have to be done now. haha.