save your scissors

don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of
fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful
clothes. you should clothe yourselves instead with
the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
1 Peter 3:3

beauty is not measured by your jeans size.
don’t let the world fool you.

I don’t need a rose, I want a daisy you picked for
my hair. I don’t want a box of fancy chocolates,
I want a burnt cookie you made just for me.
I don’t want to go to some upscale restaurant,
let’s just have a picnic in the park. we don’t
have to go to prom, we can just dance on my front
porch until we fall asleep in each other’s arms.

the worst deception:
a guy can make you think he loves you,
but he really doesn’t. and a girl can make you
think she doesn’t love you, when she really does.

he could have me in a second.
and he knows it.

when you love someone, you’ll do anything for them.
and even when you hate them, you’ll still do anything.

love is needing someone.
love is putting up with someone’s bad
qualities because they somehow complete you.

i want the drama, all of it. i want the fights,
the yelling & screaming, the make ups and
falling asleep in each other’s arms. i want
you, through the good & the bad times.

the key is to trust people to be who they are.
instead, we trust who we want them to be,
and when they aren’t, we cry.

always put yourself in the other person’s
shoes. if you feel that it hurts you,
it probably hurts the other person too.

i need to quit ignoring the people

who actually like me and want to hang out with me. haha.

You never realize how much you like someone until you watch them like someone else.

i always say that i don’t hate people, and i mean, i really don’t think that i do. like, i don’t want anyone to die or anything - but there are some people that just the THOUGHT of makes me so angry that i get tears in my eyes. like really really just cannot stand some people. not even the thought of them. sjdgoiJEg. fuck you.

the key is to trust people to be who they are. instead, we trust who we want them to be, & when they aren’t, we cry.

i want to draw with chalk.

there is some hurt that we just never get over. and we tell ourselves that in time,
we’ll get better. but you know, hurt just hurts.

mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.

i think part of the reason why we hold onto something so tight for so long is because we fear something so great will never happen twice.

it’s crazy how you think you actually meant something to someone, and they just turn around and prove you wrong.

the worse thing is caring about someone, wondering how they are & what they’re up to
when the truth is they’ve stopped wondering about you a long time ago.

Sooo, why is every song out there and every quote and just everything all about love. love love love. people are so pressured to fall in love. from the time that we’re so little we’re taught that that’s the most important thing. you know, fairy tales and all that shit. like that’s the only way you can have a “happily ever after”. so kids grow up just looking for that. and when they don’t find it, they’re heartbroken. that’s not real. it doesn’t happen that way and usually doesn’t end that way either. so glad we’re just setting ourselves up for disappointment. it’s all overrated. love is overrated. i’m in such a raw mood today. whatever.

i bergot to go find more quotes. :O

conceited people. don’t flatter yourself, really. lol.

i always lose socks. like seriously, wtheck?

too bad i’m not sleepy. i’ve always wanted a hammock.

When you’re around someone so much, for so long, they become a part of you, and when they change or go away, you don’t know who you are without them.

with every fiber of my being…….. <3

so if you say you’re a quote site, it might help to actually put some quotes on there? js.

You walk down your packed high school hallways every day. You pass hundreds of people you have never talked to, ex best friends & boyfriends. You pass the people that hate you & most importantly love you to death. If you could just freeze everyone & finally slow down time to look around. Do you finally notice the kids that have never had an equal chance? What about the beautiful popular girls that get all the boys, are they truly happy or is it all an act? And then look at yourself. Are you happy with who you are becoming or has high school turned you into someone you promised you would never be? Take a good look at your reflection before you judge anyone else; be the person you want to do. Fuck what everyone else tells you, just be who you are.

immature, easily persuaded, think your so fucking cool but you’re really not?

Stop trying to understand how she feels. Chances are you’ll never understand how much she truly loves you. How everything she does is for you. How every night she lies in bed thinking of only you. Because, you’ll never understand, because you honestly don’t care.

It’s the worst feeling, telling someone “I love you more” and knowing that it’s probably true.

I love those kind of nights that turn out unexpectedly good, great, and sometimes just all out amazing just because you didn’t really expect anything to happen at all. If only we could live just like that — with no expectations in mind. It’s possible we’d be much happier, with more memorable moments that would last us a lifetime

Few people know so clearly what they want. Most people can’t even think what to hope for when they throw a penny in a fountain

so do you want to know why it bothers me so bad? really? maybe because even if it isn’t anything major, i still want to be worth it to you to give it up. call it stupid if you want but if you didn’t like me doing something that was harming to myself, i care for you enough to stop. i’m trying to help you, i guess you don’t get that. so i don’t care if other people do - that’s other people. i don’t care about them like i care about you. you’re better than that and you don’t need it and it sure as hell doesn’t make you look cool. seriously, think about it - you say you wouldn’t do anything else but if you could be persuaded so easily to do that, who’s to say you wouldn’t do something else? and then what if you liked it? then i wouldn’t want anything to do with you anymore, and i wouldn’t be worth it for you to stop. you’d rather have it than me. you can say i’m overthinking or whatever you want, but i know you - if you’re not willing to stand up for a SONG you like and you go along with what someone thinks about a song and won’t say you like it because you feel stupid (yes, i remember that. you probably don’t. just add to my “stalker” status since apparently i freak you out and scare you because you know i watch you while you sleep and have video cameras in you shower and shit. yeah, sue me for caring enough to actually pay attention and remember things?) anyways, if you can’t go against someone and say you like a song, you’d go along with whatever. don’t ruin yourself. it’s not worth it. but i am. i promise. i care about you more than anyone ever will. i put up with you and whether you want to admit it or not, that’s so hard to do. you know it. you know i never really get mad at you. well, i never show it. you know why? because then you get mad, and you turn it around and make it my fault and somehow i actually believe that it is and try to make things right because i fear that if i don’t, you won’t either. like if i don’t keep the conversation going, you won’t either. but it kills me and you don’t care. like right now, or any time really, you go with whoever, do whatever, and i bet you never once stop to wonder what i’m doing or if i’m feeling okay maybe? but the whole time i’m anywhere my hand is around my phone just waiting for you to text me because i would rather talk to you than ANYONE else that i could ever possibly be with. no matter where i am or who i’m with i’m always wondering about you. i think it’s impossible for you to care that much about someone. i don’t think that you really actually know what it is to truly have feelings for someone. like really want everything for them, want to get them things just because it will make them happy. want to tell them you love them just so they’ll smile. be with them all the time because even though you really can’t stand them sometimes and they get on your last nerve and you argue constantly, you love every minute of it cause you know you’re going to be fine in a few minutes. you just love being with them cause they’re fun. and they used to make you feel so important. i think you need to grow up a little bit. you need to learn to take some blame. you need to learn to stand up for what you believe and you need to learn to say how you feel. you need to tell people before it’s too late. think about other people’s feelings sometimes and not just whats best for you or what would be fun for you at the moment. seriously, people say if i just didn’t talk to you for just a little while you would miss me. i don’t see it. i know how you think. you’re so hard headed. if i didn’t talk to you, you would purposely not talk to me just to prove your point, even if you wanted to. see, you don’t have to worry. you have NO idea what it feels like to wonder because i assure you and assure you and assure you how i feel about you and how much that i love you and i’m always telling you where i’m at, what i’m doing, who i’m with, you KNOW that no one ever ever could take your place and you know that i have no feelings for anyone else and you use that to your advantage. you take advantage of it. and you know it. you’ve admitted it before. you can get mad at me and say what you want because you know i’ll get over it. i don’t have that security. you can’t say i love you more to me because you know it’s not true, not because you don’t play that game. you play it with another person but if i told you, you’d think i was even more of a stalker. you yourself said you checked all someone’s stuff. see, when you care, reallllly care, reallllly like someone, you do that. so you can say that you like me, but i don’t think that you really even know what it means to like someone. well, i just completely contradicted myself there. i guess you do know. i think you really liked that one person (i just realized that i have been typing all this and i just put in names, soo i need to go eliminate those. haha). and maybe you really liked another one, but i don’t really know considering that it doesn’t bother you that she’s uhm, moving on with her life. and i think that if you hung out with that first mentioned one any at all you would fall for her again, which is why i was scared. and i think that you have feelings for cousin as well. i really think that you do. you’re so jealous and the way you act with her is the way you acted with me in the beginning. i just think that you’re scared and you want to like someone who’s safe because you are exactly alike and sure that nothing is expected of you there. you said yourself that you like someone until they like you and then you find something wrong with them and get tired of them, that’s where you’re at with me. either quit lying to me and saying feelings are still there to keep me hanging on, or flat out tell me exactly how you feel and grow a pair and make something of it. not even a relationship. just quit acting like a dick to me. show me you like me. you used to, why can’t you anymore? cause you don’t or cause you’re scared and don’t want to? i can’t figure you out. i can’t figure out what i am to you or what i mean to you. i can’t figure out what that you say is sincere or what isn’t really. i’m just tired of letting everything you say and do hurt me and i’m tired of hearing everyone’s opinions when they don’t even know the half of it. i don’t even think you know the half of it. if you actually read some of these things and knew what that did to me. knew how it made me feel. knew how sick i got or just could have my thoughts for like a DAY, i swear. and i tell you stuff and you ignore it. i tell you how i feel. i tell you i miss you. i tell you EVERYTHING. and you ignore it. try really hard to put yourself in my shoes. how would you feel if you did that and i ignored it and said NOTHING. if you really like me like you say, how would you feel if you found out i liked one of your best friends? like, think about things from my perspective first. i keep repeating myself. gosh. and think about best friends. that alone, think about it - best friends don’t laugh when the other one is crying because of something. because they feel upset. they try to help. they offer sympathy or a hug, not ignore you. like best friends make the other one feel happy and beautiful and let them know how wonderful they are. you laugh. you never get my hints. you never offer compliments no matter how much i cut myself down. think about how you would feel if that were you. if i never told you anything good about you and agreed when you pointed out all the bad. girls are more sensitive. we take those things to heart. we think about them for days, weeks, months after. we have feelings, and mine are even more sensitive than most. maybe you don’t compliment me because you don’t want to build me up. mom says it’s because you don’t want to lead me on and make me think that you like me. yet you tell me you do. she says that when i get mad at you, i have no right to because you’re just being a friend to me, which is all that you are and i need to quit expecting more. my mom is usually right. “/ but, but osdfnb usbjnhr. no one understands. like, you have me pegged. everything about me. you are so cute and you make me so happy sometimes and you don’t even realize it. you just smile or make a face or a weird voice or sing or dance and it just brightens my day. you just hold my hand every once in a blue moon and it just keeps me hanging on because it’s like, i can’t forget how you used to tell me how much i meant to you and its like, in my mind if you felt like that at one time - and you’re around me all the time i don’t see how those feelings can go away. i know that they can, but still - i just don’t get it because for me they don’t. like, when i like someone, i like them with all that i am and i don’t just move on to someone else so easily. i feel pathetic and i said i would never write stuff on here. (maybe someone will think it’s just a really long quote) it’s cool. no one will read it anyways. too long. just like my messages to you which i know you don’t actually read. but see, if that were me i would read every word because i want to know everything that i can about you. i love it all. your flaws just everything. it’s easy for people to say to give up on the idea of anything more than this and its easy for them to say not to talk to you so much and stuff but they don’t feel like this. they don’t look at you like i do. they don’t want you to know everything about them cause maybe one little thing will make you realize that you really think i’m cute and love me and would be lost without me. i just wonder what it’d be like for you if you lost me. like completely. the thought of losing you scared me. you can see. i’ve talked to you every single day since then. i have to. it’s like, part of my routine. like breathing. my day would feel so wrong and incomplete if i didn’t talk to you. but i feel like to you it’s just an annoyance to have to put up with me everyday. i feel like you want to talk to me when you have nothing better to do but even then its just out of habit and you feel like you have to because your mom loves me and i’ve always been there for you. i feel like that because you make it seem miserable with your short as possible replies. its like you’re begging me to quit talking but i just keep going. and it doesn’t help that when i tell you you make me feel this way and i tell you i feel like you don’t care and everything else, you don’t reply. and it’s even more pathetic that i still don’t get the point. yes, you always message me in the morning to start a conversation for the day but it’s like, you just want to talk to me to say you’ve talked to me that day. i don’t know. i’m just not willing to mess it up. i swear, no one can tell me anything. i’m just as hard headed as you are and you are my best friend. like, it would be different if you weren’t. then so what if you got mad or something. but you are my best friend and my every thought and i tell you everything and go to you with everything even if you don’t care and you’re who i have fun with and hang out with and you’re my routine and my habit as well. lunch, school, just everything would be so empty without you, for me. but you have a billion other people. i feel like you wouldn’t miss me at all. you’d just replace me. i’m no different to you than anyone else but how can i give up on it when we just give each other these looks when we’re together and we just read each other and can put up with each other and can argue and fight and bite each other ad laugh and have to tell each other something two seconds later. and i mean, just think about it. look at what we have. we have so much in each other. you know that i know you and understand you and i’m not going to judge you and you know that i care for you and i always want whats best for you and deep down i know that you love me and i can tell you anything and i’m so comfortable with you and you make me laugh and you make me mad and push me but it’s like, i love and hate it that you can fix it with three words. and i love your family and i can read you on the simplest things and idk. i just feel like i need you. and i love your scars. you’re so brave to me because of that. i just don’t think anyone else looks at it like i do. the situation i mean. i mean, besides the obvious people. i just admire you and you never complain and you’re just so selfish and you’re such a drama queen half of the time and such a boy the rest of it and you’re just weird but you’re not like the rest. i never have to worry about you like you would have to with any other guy. everyone says i always just give you too much credit because i like you and stuff but really, i think you’re special and i think you have a good heart even if you could kill babies and i swear i could kill YOU for that, but that’s another story. you’re cold, you’re pretty harsh sometimes and you just shut all your feelings down. but one day you will spill your guts. and one day you will grow up and allow yourself to love someone. i know you don’t think i’m “the one” and you don’t want to marry me and crap like you used to and i also know that we’re 16 and really maybe haven’t even met “the one” yet. and i know everyone tells me that’s the craziest though ever and it will never happen. and i know that in reality we’ll probably go separate ways and never even talk anymore. but i try not to think of that, because whether you do or not, i will always always remember you and i always want to know you. and it’s like, i have no idea what the future holds and i have no freaking idea how i got into all this crap or if i’m even going to post it. lolol. but uhm, yeah - i totally lost the point there. shoot. all that was to make you understand why you mean so much to me and why things bother me so much i guess? whatever. you’ll never read this. so it’s safe. you’re also the only one i gave it to. and no one else really knows who i’m talking about. yanno, unless someone from school finds this. then they’re going to think i’m psycho. oh well, i’m sure plenty of people already do. really this should be an xanga post but i’m just going to leave it. hahahha. i should really write novels for a living. oh, and i also hate having to wonder if i can trust you. like when you hang out with other people, wondering if you’re talking about me or making fun of me or telling stuff i’ve said. insecurities, hopefully i’ll find someone, somewhere to love them someday. haha. like would you even care if my bracelet completely broke? is it bad that i could go on for days and days more. gosh, the simplest little nothings mean so much to me. i am so sentimental. but, i’m not hard to make very happy because of that. i’m simple. take me to swing and look at the stars and remember my favorites and you’ve got my heart. lol. gosh, i really can’t imagine how my life would be right now if things would have been worse that day. that feeling i got was so scary. when i saw you, i saw you TOTALLY differently. ALL that i wanted to do was kiss your forehead because you looked so beautiful to me. greasy hair, tubes and all. and so helpless. i think that’s when things started to change for me. that’s when i really figured out what you meant to me and i know you get tired of hearing about it, but i don’t think you realize how blessed that you really are. i don’t think you really realize how much that i love you, even if i tell you constantly. i look at you like you’re the most wonderful, the most beautiful, the cutest dimples, prettiest smile hair, style - everything. you look at me and see nothing special. yeah you can sing, so and so is better. yeah you have pretty eyes, so and so’s are prettier. yeah i like your make up. so and so does it better. it looks like hers. yeah you’re losing weight, you need to eat and gain it back. like, i dunno. i feel like i suck. being this age sucks. high school sucks. you suck sometimes. growing up sucks. being sick sucks. being cold sucks. and, and, and  (i really need to post this so i quit thinking of things to add to it) i don’t understand how one day you’re all “you’re just hurting yourself, you’re the one who’s not going to have kids” and two days later you’re talking about wanting to be with someone else? and and and and i don’t understand how you wanna cuddle and hold hands and stuff one day, and you love me so much. no actually, one minute - then the next you flip out if i touch your arm? you’re not affectionate i get it, but when you like someone (like you say and occasionally act like you do) you wanna love on them and show them? and yanno, ya do sometimes. but it’s at your convenience and when yanno, no one can ever find out? ashamed much? or i dunno, i don’t get you. it’s like you don’t believe in love. one day you will. even if you don’t fall in love with me, and i go on and fall in love with someone else, i want you to find it so you can understand. and be happy. i really do. i really wanna cuddle you though. you’re like a big teddy bear and i still remember more than any other time when we were all snuggled up on your couch and some crap about alligators or something was on, but we just layed there and you just pulled me so close its like, i could feel your heart beat and i felt like you cared so much and just didn’t want to let me go and idk, it was just an amazing feeling. your heartbeat. and everytime i think about it i think about you telling me how you saw on tv something about people’s hearts beating in sync and it meaning they were soul mates. and you get so excited at little things like that and scream like a little girl and it’s just so cute dude. you don’t even understand. i would give ANYTHING for you to see yourself through my eyes. yanno, i could have said to see myself through your eyes, to see how you look at me, but no - i want you to see what amazingness i do everytime i look at you even if i’m mad as hell and swearing that i hate your guts. khsfguszhuehsgugw. clinched fists. gritted teeth. i could just hug you all day. just hold your hand and pet you and see how pretty you look when you sleep and bite you. bite your lips and give you eskimo kisses. nothing else. i would be more than happy to just lay there with you watching movies all day just knowing that you’re there. and you could be somewhere else, but you’re not. you’re just laying there with me. sdkniuwaehg. i really have to be done now. haha.

i have no life.

and i’m sick. sooooo.

so i just really really really want someone who just wants to be with me. like, someone who will just come cuddle with me and watch movies cause i don’t feel good, or even just a best friend who will be like let’s go do something if you’re bored, when i’m just sitting here. i wish i could drive. i don’t wanna be last option, even if i do make other people that sometimes. it sucks. i suck.

Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.

Didaskaleinophobia, Scolionophobia - Fear of going to school.

Coimetrophobia - Fear of cemeteries.

Didaskaleinophobia, Scolionophobia - Fear of going to school.

Emetophobia - Fear of vomiting.

Ermitophobia - Fear of being alone, loneliness

<333333 ^

Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.

Gerascophobia - Fear of growing old

adam lambert is dead sexy. too bad he’s gay, right?

and he can “sangggg”

11:11

when i started this, anyways.

anddddddddd completely dunno how this following and such works, eh?

This is for every time you built me up just to make me cry. This is for all those things you said that turned out to be a lie. This is for every day I spent alone and I couldn’t get out of bed. This is for every night I couldn’t sleep cause you were in my head. This is for every promise you made and then later on you broke. This is for all the lies behind every word you spoke. This is for every time you brought me down and made me feel like dirt. This is for the way I feel every time I see you with her. This is for all this time I kept my stupid dream. This is for all the signs I knew I should have seen. This is for missing you every time I’m having fun. This is for loving you, despite everything you’ve done.

Although I’ve told myself a thousand times I wouldn’t text you, I have to say one thing. It’s killing me not to talk to you. Each and every memory, every word, every thought, every feeling comes rushing back. I can’t handle missing you.

All the times I’ve ever said that I missed someone weren’t true compared to how much I miss you. I miss talking to you every day. I miss all our funny stories, our laughs, our fights, and just everything. I miss your smile. I miss everything about you. Those few minutes we see each other every day really aren’t enough. They’re enough to keep me hanging on but not enough to fulfill me. I don’t know how much longer I can honestly handle this. It’s been so long already but each day is a fight. Each night is a reminder of how you’re probably texting some other girl. Just when I think I’m pathetic and I’m overthinking the whole situation, people start to tell me how cute they think we are. How were going to end up together. You text me, and tell me you miss me. You tell me you wish you saw me more. All these things give me hope, hope I shouldn’t have. I should just knock some sense in my head so I can finally believe all the things I tell myself. Believe the reality. I should get a grip on this on going situation and put a true end to it. And then I get a text from you and I have to start all over.

None of your scars can make me love you less.

You should be here, in my arms.

Everyday, I fight back the urge to text you or call you - telling myself if you really wanted to talk to me, you would.

I’ll be there when the world stops turning. I’ll be there when the storm is through. In the end I want to be standing at the beginning with you.

If God had meant for today to be perfect, he wouldn’t have invented tomorrow.

He’s hurt you the worst that anyone ever has and for some crazy, unknown reason you still have feelings for him even though everyone thinks you’re stupid for it, even though he lied, and even though he didn’t care. and really you just want more than anything to go back to the way things were before because you were so happy, he made you happy, happier then you could remember being in a long time. and then all the sudden the entire world came crashing down on you and now whenever you get upset it always goes back to that day, back to him. And you just want him to get the fact that you wouldn’t given him the world if you could’ve because you loved him that much, but he’ll never get that because for some reason all he wants to see is her.

neverland is just around the corner
i’m done with this “getting older”